It's
U-Girl and You Should Know It
By
Brantley Thompson Elkins
Down Deep
The only light in
the chamber came from the readout, counting down the minutes. They had their
own readout at the command center on the surface, of course. None was needed
here. None could see it but her.
That was the
whole point.
Rainey Ferguson
was resigned to death. She felt no terror, even as the minutes dwindled to
seconds. Only hatred for Kim Jong Il and his entire system. She hoped her
country would nuke North Korea when it learned about the test, as it surely
would.
People had talked
about bombing Vietnam into the Stone Age when her parents were the same age she
was, theyd told her. But this place was already back to the Stone Age, in
anything that mattered. Surely the world knew that savages couldnt be trusted
with nuclear weapons.
The counter
reached zero. Suddenly there was a bright light.
It took a moment
to realize that she was seeing that light, that she wasnt dead.
How could this
be?
It had been cold
as well as dark in the chamber, and the excavation had been so small that it
had felt as if it were closing in on her before the guards had taken their
leave and turned off the lights behind them. There was just enough room for the
bomb itself, the technicians making the final settings and her.
It was pleasantly
warm now, and the chamber seemed larger – she couldnt gauge how much
larger, for she had no frame of reference, no points of reference. There was no
sign of the bomb, but a pool of bright liquid was forming at the bottom of the
chamber, rising quickly to bathe her legs and then
Oh God, its
warmth was invading her pussy and it felt so good. She was coming, coming hard -- something that had never
happened with the Dear Leader. She couldn't believe how good it felt as the
liquid lapped at her clit and her G-spot. Her knees went weak, and she fell
backwards into what was it that now covered her breasts, sending yet more shocks of
pleasure through her body? She exploded again and again, orgasm after orgasm.
She swam in it, she cavorted in it, her whole body was glowing.
She suddenly
remembered what she'd read about the test procedure. Kim's nuclear technicians
had forced her to read it:
The
device is remotely detonated from a surface control bunker. The nuclear explosion
vaporizes subterranean rock, creating an underground chamber filled with
superheated radioactive gas.
As this
cools, a pool of molten rock collects at the bottom of the chamber.
Minutes
or hours later as pressure falls, the chamber collapses in on itself causing
subsidence and a crater to appear on the surface.
The North Korean
bomb was a relatively small device, so As she pondered this, the chamber
collapsed. What must be tons of superheated rock, she now realized, came
crashing down on her.
Only it didnt
feel like that. It felt like a warm shower.
The white-hot
rock pressed against her, yet didnt crush her, let alone burn her; instead it
caressed her body like a lover -- the kind of lover she'd never had here, never
hoped to have again. She began playing with herself, building towards it was
only after another staccato series of orgasms that she began to think
rationally.
This was absurd.
It was impossible.
She must be
dreaming, that was it. She wasnt 700 meters underground; she was still at Kims
palace, hooked up to some diabolical machine, and they were playing with her
mind, Just as Kim had played with her body – the thought brought nausea
along with anger as she began thrashing about. She was surprised that she could
move at all. But it was a dream, after all.
Why were they
doing this to her? What could be the point?
She remembered
her last words to the Dear Leader, when she had lost it, when she had called
him nasty, brutish and short. That was when he had pronounced his death
sentence, leaving it to his lieutenants to tell her the time and manner of her
demise.
It must have been
a ploy, to overcome any resistance to their invading her mind – something
even worse invading her body. She had taken a bitter pride in the belief that
her mind was free, even if her body was enslaved. But now she must be living
out one of Kim's perverted porn fantasies, more degrading than any of the
videos he'd made her watch before he fucked her.
Everything he
knew about sex came from porn, and she and the other members of his Pleasure
Squad -- mostly young Asians and Europeans; she was the only American -- had
been thoroughly indoctrinated in his tastes. Along with much else. The much
else was comical, as in the narration that went with a typical propaganda video:
The
Korean people regard it as their most worthwhile life to uphold Secretary Kim
Jong Il and live and work in perfect harmony with him. The Korean people
absolutely worship, trust and follow the General as god. These noble
ideological feelings are ascribable to the fact that they have keenly felt the
greatness of the General from the bottom of their hearts. He is the great
teacher who teaches them what the true life is, a father who provides them with
the noblest political integrity and a tenderhearted benefactor who brings their
worthwhile life into full bloom. The life of the Korean people who form a
harmonious whole with the General is a revolutionary life to glorify their
noblest political integrity. This is why they have unbendingly advanced the revolution
with an unshakable faith, not wavering under any obstacles and trials. The
General is the mental pillar and the eternal sun to the Korean people. As they
are in harmonious whole with him, they are enjoying a true life based on pure
conscience and obligation. They are upholding him as their great father and
teacher, united around him in ideology, morality and obligation. So, their life
is a true, fruitful and precious life without an equal in history.
When he hadn't
had her watching porn or propaganda, she'd been subjected to the Dear Leader's
other bizarre tastes, from Rambo to Daffy Duck cartoons. One night he'd topped even himself,
making her watch both porn and cartoons, and coming on to her afterwards by
yelling, in a thick accent, "I'm just a crazy mixed-up duck!"
It was usually
one-on-one with her; she'd heard that Kim often staged orgies with the other
girls. Being the only American somehow made her special, if only because he
hated America so much. Perhaps he found her intimidating, at six feet and
38-24-38 -- the Asian girls were closer to his own five-two. But if so, that had only made him all
the more determined to humiliate her.
Now he'd found
another kind of humiliating entertainment. Was he, even now, this very minute,
watching her masturbate? Maybe if she stopped playing his game, he'd let her
wake up.
Yet Rainey had
already stopped playing with herself, and nothing had happened.
Kim must be
patient today. But she wasn't. After waiting in vain for what must have been
half an hour or so, she decided to go along with the fantasy again -- but not
his way.
Up was up and
down was down, even in a dream. Seven hundred meters were 700 meters, even in a
dream. In this dream she could swim through liquid and even solid rock. She
struck out for the surface.
It felt very much
like coming up from skin-diving, except that it took longer. And when she broke
surface, there was just -- the bleak landscape of North Korea. Nothing of the
utopian vision she might have expected from a programmed dream. But then, even
the Dear Leader wouldn't expect her to believe in happy peasants and smiling
workers.
Up High
She was far from
the command center, having come up diagonally, but there was a guard post
nearby. One of the North Korean soldiers spotted her, and froze in place, as
well he might, at the sight of a naked woman suddenly emerging from the ground.
Being well
trained, he quickly unfroze and called the other soldiers out of the post. It
was the dead of winter, she knew, and the winds had been fierce, although she
couldn't feel the cold or the wind now. The other soldiers must have been
grateful for whatever shelter the post provided -- and annoyed to be deprived
of it.
The first soldier
started yelling at her in Korean, and when she didn't respond -- having learned
as little of the language as she could -- they raised their Type 68 AKMs and
began firing.
Because this was
a dream, she didn't expect to be harmed, and she wasn't. But she was spun
around by the first impact on her left shoulder, and knocked to the ground by
those that followed. But as the rounds continued to rain in on her, time seemed
to slow, as in those old Six Million Dollar Man episodes.
She heard the
bullets as a patter, and when she turned around, bracing herself against a
boulder, it seemed that she could actually watch them approach. Like any good
soldiers, the North Koreans were aiming at her chest, seeking good kill shots,
and those that hit her breasts sent waves of pleasure coursing through her.
Within what must
have been a few seconds of real time, she was wet with arousal, and her nipples
had turned bullet-size, aimed provocatively at her assailants. She glanced
downwards and saw that she was dripping. As the storm of lead continued, some of the
rounds actually found those nipples and sent her over the edge into orgasm. And
then some found her pussy, hitting her clit.
Rainey
practically swooned with pleasure, no longer able to conceal her ecstasy from
the watching eyes of Kim -- it would have to be the Dear Leader himself, not
one of his underlings -- on some monitor at the palace.
She was walking
on air by the time the soldiers, their faces stunned with disbelief, ran out of
ammo. Literally walking on air, for the ground -- littered with hundreds of
slugs that had bounced off her -- was a yard beneath her feet.
Flying was a
common fantasy in dreams, she'd read, although psychologists didn't agree on
what it meant. She couldn't remember having had any such dreams herself. Had
Kim? What could they mean to him?
But it felt so real. Everything in this crazy
dream felt and looked so real. Even the confused soldier, now calling for help
on his field radio. And it felt so good. Not just being invulnerable, but being free --
as free as a bird. Hardly had she had that thought than she began rising,
leaving the guard post and its befuddled soldiers far below.
Could this dream
take her home -- to an illusion of home? Home was East, she knew, and it was
easy enough to reckon East. She imagined herself flying like Superman, because
it was obviously that kind of dream, although Kim had never shown any interest
in superhero comics. She willed herself to fly, and she did, heading straight
into the morning sun.
In the
Air
Rainey must be
traveling more than a thousand miles an hour, for the morning sun was actually
setting before her. She willed herself to slow a bit, and the sun stopped in
its tracks, hanging before her as if it were an orange blob pasted on a
postcard.
The air rushing
past her felt like a soothing gentle breeze, but she could sense that her raven
tresses were practically plastered to her back. Just for the hell of it, she
tried doing somersaults; and her hair began behaving like a weathervane, always
pointing true west.
She might have
been halfway across the Pacific when she began running into storm clouds and
the sun vanished. She should have thought of that, she realized; she knew the
ocean wasn't always pacific. But how was she to keep her sense of direction,
how was she to find her way?
The storm had broken now -- or, rather,
she had entered it. Of a sudden, there was an explosion of light and she felt
an explosion of pleasure: she quickly realized that she must have been hit by a
lightning bolt. Another followed, and yet another; she was screaming with
pleasure as the electric fire bathed her breasts, invaded her pussy.
She was
completely disoriented, but something must have told her what she had to do,
for suddenly she was rising -- through the storm, above the clouds into clear
air.
Why stop here? she asked herself.
Rainey flew further
upwards, into the stratosphere and beyond, until she could see the curvature of
the Earth and the sun blazed white, unfiltered by the atmosphere. Below her,
she could see the cyclonic pattern of the clouds; it had been a typhoon. Above,
she could see stars against a purple-black sky, if she looked away from the
sun.
Ahead.
She was high
enough to recognize the coast of Mexico, Baja California to the left. Way south
of where she wanted to be.
Damn! She could have kicked
herself, forgetting that the sun rose in the southeast as seen from her
homeland.
There came
another thought:
This was too perfect, too realistic. Dreams were never like
that. You could be in a car and suddenly it would be a boat. You could be in
New York and suddenly it would become Paris. You could meet people who were
long dead, or people you knew but didn't look like the people you knew.
She had thought
this was some sort of programmed dream, being fed into her from a computer in
Kim's palace. She had felt like a player trapped in some insane video game,
able to act within the rules of the game, but never to escape it. But could the
Dear Leader really have created this?
Rainey was torn
between relief and disbelief. She had never believed in God. She had never
believed in miracles. None of that New Age shit, either. But there were only
two possibilities here and now: either she was in an impossibly elaborate and
consistent dream, or she had somehow survived a nuclear blast and become
superhuman.
It was time to
take stock, make plans. She hadn't really thought of that before.
On the
Beach
There was a nude
beach near San Diego, Rainey knew. She hoped she could spot it from the air.
She'd been there once for a photo shoot, five years ago, part of paying her way
through college.
Her given name
was Urania, and she hated it. It had been bestowed upon her by her parents, who
were into Greek mythology. University professors, both of them, David in
literature and Margaret in art. She'd been a freshman when they'd gone off to
Greece on a dream vacation, and been killed in a plane crash just outside
Athens.
She was calling
herself Rainey by then, and she'd been devastated at the news. They'd always
been good to her, except for the name. They'd encouraged her to find her own
way, which had turned out to be modern rather than classical history. But she
didn't want to be an academic; she wanted to bring history to the people, to
make them see, to make them understand.
Her favorite
writer was Joseph Kanon, who made history -- not just the details, but its
essence, its meaning -- come alive in his novels: Los Alamos, The Prodigal Spy and The Good German. Kanon had begun writing
novels late in life, after a long career as an editor. She aimed to get a
faster start. But first she had to get the grounding. Whether she ended up
writing novels, or non-fiction, she'd have to know her stuff.
That meant
finishing college, and a lot of travel and research. She couldn't afford all of
that, on what her parents had left her. By sheer coincidence, however, the
college paper ran an ad a month after the funeral from Male Call magazine recruiting models
for one of its frequent features on college girls -- in this case, The Girls of
Winnemac.
Rainey was
beautiful. She'd always known it, but she'd never traded on it -- never ran for
Homecoming Queen at high school, never even served on the cheerleading squad.
She'd never been a cock-teaser, never chased after the jocks -- not that she
gave a shit about football anyway. And when she'd given up her virginity, it
had been to a kid she'd known from childhood -- the kind she'd used to play
hide and seek with.
She hadn't hooked
up with anyone in college yet, although she'd been eyeing the possibilities. Shed signed up
for the photo shoot, and got a grand out of it. She also got a lot of attention
from guys on campus, but she brushed them off -- when she wanted a man, she was
going to go after him.
She drew raves
from Male Call readers, who voted her the best girl in the feature. One of them
called her a cross between Lynda Carter and Sophia Loren -- he must be a dirty
old man if he remembered both of them in their prime. But such fulsome praise
got the attention of the Dirty Old Man, who offered her a contract for a centerfold. Big
bucks.
The Dirty Old Man
had an exaggerated sense of his own dirty old charms, and after the centerfold
shoot, he'd invited her to join his harem. Even bigger bucks, but she turned
him down flat. Whenever she needed more money, thered plenty of other men's
magazines -- including the kind that didn't require girls to go full frontal.
That nude beach
she was looking for now She remembered that there'd been a large power
sub-station just inland, across Highway 101. Sure enough, there it was. If
anyone saw her, she hoped theyd take her for a bird or a plane. Now she
backtracked out to sea and took to the water about a mile from shore.
It wasn't that
she especially wanted to visit a nude beach just now, but where else could a
naked woman appear without attracting undue attention? So she swam in, a few
yards under, and broke surface close it as if she'd been there all along,
wading ashore like Venus as soon as her feet could touch bottom.
She had it all
worked out. Steal somebody's clothes from the locker room -- not something she
could take any pride in, but the regulars would have a way of finding new
clothes, which she didn't. Then she'd have to steal some cash -- cracking open
an ATM was the best bet, smashing the surveillance camera first. Find a place
to stay that didn't ask any questions.
Then catch up. She'd
been away for more than four years. She didn't have any idea, beyond the North
Korean propaganda, of what had been going on in the world. She needed to know.
She also needed to know more personal things: did she still have a safety
deposit box in Mohalis? Could she access it? She didn't have any ID now, no way
to prove who she was.
Somebody might
recognize her, but did she want to be recognized? It would make the news if she
reappeared in the world without explanation. It must have made the news when she'd
vanished, only a month after her centerfold had appeared. Did she want Kim Jong
Il and the North Koreans to find out what had happened?
She could catch
up on world events at the library, on the Internet. There'd be stuff about her
there, too. But she needed somebody to talk to, somebody she could trust, and
she could think of just one man -- Bobby Rutledge.
Rainey had a
close call in the locker room, just after she'd jimmied the lock on a second
locker -- finding women's clothes this time. A burly-looking man had walked in.
Had he seen what she was doing?
Evidently not,
but he had indeed seen her. His cock rose to attention, although that was
considered bad form at nude beaches.
"No way," she told him, and
that seemed to take care of the problem.
She dressed
quickly, relieved to find that the fashionable sportswear fit her well enough
to avoid attracting notice, and that the woman's purse had enough cash to tide
her over for a while. She made note of the womans name and address so that she
could return the cash and clothes as soon as she was able. She left the credit
cards and the purse in the locker, warping the door enough to jam it shut.
Back to
the Future
Bobby Rutledge
Where was he now?
It didn't take
her long to find out on the Internet. He was living in New Romford, Ohio. Right
full name (Robert F. Rutledge), and right date of birth (September 9, 1984),
according to the Public Records database, Apparently living alone.
Shed already
found out about a lot of other things, from the ugly details of the war in Iraq
-- not the same shed been told in North Korea -- to her own disappearance
having been linked to serial killings in the Zenith area. All college girls;
she fit the pattern, the only anomaly being that her body had never been found.
Just what Bobby
was doing in New Romford, shed have to find out. They'd both grown up in
Shetland, Illinois, and he'd taken time to tutor her in science beginning in
grade school -- she hadn't been big on science as she was on history. One thing
had led to another
She hadn't been
looking for eternal love or anything like that when she'd seduced him that
spring during their senior year at Shetland High. But he was really sweet, and
they'd enjoyed their study dates and movie dates, even smooched a bit. Puppy love.
One night, when
her parents were away at an academic conference, she'd invited him home -- not
just to the living room, but her room. He'd assumed she just wanted to show him something there,
until she started taking her clothes off.
She'd read up on
sex. She'd thought she'd known what to expect. She knew what men wanted, and
she wanted to make the first time a night to remember for both of them. Under
her utilitarian shirt and jeans, she'd worn her sexiest bra and panties,
acquired with just this occasion in mind.
Bobby's face
turned red, then lit up as he hurriedly began shedding his own clothes -- only
to turn red again moments later, as she playfully removed her bra, shook her
breasts in front of him, and crowed, "Ta Da!"
The reason became
clear when she saw that his underpants were soaked with cum.
"I'm
sorry," he almost stuttered, looking crestfallen
Rainey didn't
want it to end this way. She wouldn't let it.
"It's just
I've never done it before," he stammered. "And you're so so beautiful."
All she could say
was: I havent either. And then she was at a loss as to what to do, until she
saw that he was still semi-erect, his cock rising again, despite his
embarrassment, tenting his jockeys, and her own body responded.
"It's all
right," she said. "Look at me."
Her panties were
transparent; she'd wanted him to get a good look at her bush through them. But
now they were wet.
Bobby must know
what that meant. His face lit up again as he pulled down his shorts and his
cock sprang into full view, ready for action.
Rainey was ready,
too. She peeled off her panties, sat down on the edge of the bed, and invited
Bobby to join her. She pulled him in for a deep kiss, hugging him tenderly,
trying to make him feel at ease before she reached for his cock and began
stroking it – only to feel him come again.
Boys!
But she made
believe she was flattered to have his cum splash on her, and as he toyed with
her provoking breasts, he began rising to the occasion again. She began to moan
as he brushed her nipples -- finally he was getting something right! -- and he
went wild when she invited him to suck and nibble them. So did she.
Rainey went even
wilder when he moved south and began nibbling her clit. She'd been playing with
it herself since puberty, and had never failed to bring herself off. But to
have him
there, to feel his lips and his tongue, to see him between her legs, eating her
so eagerly. She screamed as she came, and her entire body shuddered in delight.
When Bobby came
up for air, he looked pleased with himself, as well he might. It was time for
the pice de rsistance. She'd kept a rubber handy under a pillow; now she took
it out. There was a huge grin on his face as she unwrapped it, and a look
almost like prayer as she slipped it lovingly over his cock. It was a terrific
turn-on for her to take the initiative, and she sensed that it was for him too.
She took it again
now, inviting Bobby to lie back on the bed, then straddling him. His eyes were
filled with wonder as he gazed up at her, and he gasped as she impaled herself
on him and began a gentle rocking motion. She had nothing to worry about; shed
taken care of her hymen with a tampon a while back because shed wanted to get that over with. Tonight, she
wanted nothing but pleasure.
Oh God! Having a
man inside her felt so good, even better than she'd imagined from the steamy romance novels
her mother had "accidentally" left for her to find, just as she had
"accidentally" left a sex manual. She felt so alive as her cunt
gripped his cock, as she began humping him and he began returning her thrusts
-- faster and faster until they both exploded, crying out in pure ecstasy.
Their afterglow
was pure rapture. Words failed them, until
"Tonight I
am a man."
"Tonight I
am a woman."
They'd kept it
up, whenever they could, until they went to different colleges.
They might have
gotten back together -- if she hadn't been taken.
New
Romford by Night
"So you want
me to believe it because it is impossible?" Bobby asked.
"Actually,
Tertullian's words were, "It is certain because it is impossible,"
Rainey responded. "My parents were sticklers about things like that."
This has got to be the strangest day
of my life,
Bobby reflected.
It had begun with
the message on his phone when he'd arrived home from work.
"It's me. I
need to talk with you. I'll come by tonight."
That was all. But
it drove him crazy, because he knew the voice, and he knew that Rainey was
dead. Had
to be dead.
When she'd
disappeared from Mohalis, it had made the papers -- even made CNN, her having
been a Male Call centerfold and all. It bothered him, bothered him more than he
cared to admit. And when the FBI in Zenith had added her to the list of
presumed victims of the Chainsaw Man, that had.
He'd vomited at
the thought that she had been cut to pieces by a serial killer who was still at
large. He'd seen the tabloids with front-page pictures of other victims -- they
were supposedly sanitized, but they still left little to the imagination.
He'd cried all
night, unable to sleep, unable to rest. He'd hardly eaten for days, and had to
call in sick -- the flu, he'd told them.
Jill had come
after that. He hadn't told Rainey about Jill yet -- he'd hardly told her anything. She'd done all the
telling, and none of it made any sense. She'd simply rung his doorbell, and
he'd let her in.
It was her, no
mistaking. His heart was pounding, but he tried not to show it. He'd offered
her coffee, because that seemed to be the thing to do, and it took his mind off
the memories of their nights together as well as the terror he'd felt when
"Are you in
trouble?" he'd asked, because he surmised that something bad must have happened to
her.
"I was in trouble," she said.
"Now I am trouble."
"For God's
sake, Rainey, what are you talking about?"
So she told him.
About having gone out to a Korean restaurant in Zenith, passing out there and
ending up in Pyongyang. About her years as a sex slave to a mad dictator. And
then about the bomb, and her escape and the flying
He could barely
believe the kidnapping part, after all those reports about Japanese being
snatched off the streets and put to work as translators, or language teachers
for North Korean spies. But the rest
CNN thought the
bomb was a dud, Bobby said. But even—
"Don't you
think I know it's impossible?" she cried.
Which led to the
exchange about Tertullian.
"But where's
my brain tonight?" she scolded herself. "I meant to show you when I
came in, but"
With that, she
marched over to the range, lit one of the burners, and stuck her right hand in
the flames.
Bobby shot out of
his chair, terrified at what he saw, even more terrified that this woman --
this woman whod made him a man, whod become his lover, whod inspired his
fantasies ever since from memory and from the pages of Male Call even after they parted --
had gone insane.
Too late, too
late, he
cried inwardly. He'd call 911, get her to a hospital, but she'd be scarred for
life, if she kept her hand at all.
Only, nothing was
happening. Rainey didn't scream in pain, nor was there the stench of burning
flesh. She took her hand out of the flames and held it up to him.
It was completely
unharmed.
Bobby stood
there, transfixed, like a deer in the headlights. Then he began shaking like a
leaf. She came to him, taking him gently in her arms.
He felt a rush of
desire, embraced her with his own arms. She felt like a statue – a warm
statue, but still something more like stone than flesh.
Oh God, she
cried. Im so sorry.
They let each
other go now, stood looking at each other, so near and yet so far.
Youre not
impossible, after all, he said. But we are.
"I might
hurt you," she explained. "I don't know my own strength yet. It's not
the sort of thing I can practice. On people, at least. Not safely."
Why, Oh
Why Ohio
At first, I
tried to think about you while he was doing it, Rainey said. But it didnt
work. Anyway, Kim never got over being a speed hump.
So what did you
do then?
Played chess in
my head. Sometimes he actually wanted to play chess with me.
How did that
go?
He was a sore
loser. She hesitated a moment, then asked, So hows life been treating you?
Well, I got my
degree in computer science from Cal Tech. Im working in electronic security
now. Id be doing pretty well if it werent for the child support and the legal
bills.
She had to know
about Jill. He had to tell her.
It was after the
FBI said you know that I hooked up with her, but it was really her hooking up
with me. I figured that out later, too much later. She was in a programming
class with me, and wondered why I had such a hangdog look. So I told her, and
she got all slobbery, oh you poor man and all that.
Well, one thing
led to another, and soon we were going at it. It should have bothered me that
she didnt seem to like it that much, but I figured a mercy fuck was better
than no fuck at all. But she kept coming back for more. She was on the pill,
she said, and I believed her. Only as soon as she got pregnant, she lowered the
boom on me.
Turned out she
was a lesbian, already partnered, and just looking for a sperm donor. Only this
way, she didnt have to shell out to a fertility clinic, and she could also sue
for child support. Well, I got a lawyer and tried to fight it, but shed found
a really cozy judge. Plus she told the sisterhood Id raped her, and they
believed it -- even though she never went to the police about it. Id get nasty
e-mails and phone calls, and the lawyer finally advised me to settle –
after charging me a mint.
I was able to
get a job here through a friend of my fathers, but I had to take out a loan to
pay off the lawyer. Between installments on that and child support, its been
tough. But Im getting by. At least Im shut of Jill, and shut of the lawyer.
What about the
child?
A boy. They
named him Anakin for some reason. Im not allowed to see him. But I wonder what
theyll be telling him about me.
He was silent for
a few moments.
Hell, maybe
itll turn out for the best, he finally said. Motivate me to work on some
ideas thatll bring in more money.
Like what?
Well, electronic
security is like locking the barn door after the horse is stolen –
strictly responsive. Another virus, another patch. Another hacker, another
firewall. Another phishing rod, another defense. A new kind of spam, like image
e-mails, another program.
She didnt know
about phishing and image spam, so he had to explain before going on.
Anyway, I keep
wondering why we cant get more aggressive, trace the spammers and the phishers
and the hackers – trace them back to their computers and mess them up.
Probably against
the law.
So are they going to call the cops? Not
that the authorities seem to be much use. I figure the feds could hire hackers
to break into jihadist websites and mess them up. But word is, the government
doesnt like that idea. Maybe they just want to keep tabs on the jihadists, or
maybe theyre afraid the jihadists could strike back and mess up our sites.
Can you think of
any ideas the authorities would like?
One, Bobby
said. It came to me right after the FBI I thought, what if I could come up
with a program that would detect patterns in criminal activity – patterns
so subtle that they might escape notice even by trained detectives. I thought
Here he choked
up, and tears came to his eyes.
I thought maybe
I could avenge you, help catch the Chainsaw Man. But Id need to have access to
the police reports, crime scene photographs, forensics, everything. No way they
were going to give me that. I tried to pitch my idea and they told me to forget
about it, that Numb3rs wasnt real life.
Whats this
about numbers?
He had to explain
that, too.
So Near,
So Far
Rainey slept
over. But that was all she did. She insisted on taking the couch, even after
Bobby offered her the bed.
You need the
rest more than I do, she
told him, after he admitted hed taken time out from work for her – he
usually brought work home with him; as long as he had
a terminal, he was on the job. She was feeling bad about that, bad about
herself.
Bobby had managed
to access the First Bank of Zenith records in Mohalis. Yes, she still had an
account there, although it had mostly been eaten up by fees. She had never
formally been declared dead, so the bank hadnt closed the account or taken the
safety deposit box with her birth certificate and other records. But how could
she get to them?
Nobody but Bobby
knew she was alive, let alone only a couple of hundred miles of home. If she
came out, shed have to explain herself somehow, and she couldnt think of any
explanation that would make sense.
Its all Kims fault. I
should have killed the bastard, she told him shortly before he turned in for
the night.
Bobby shook his
head.
Bush thought all
our problems would be solved if we just got rid of Saddam Hussein, he said.
And look where its gotten us.
Shed seen the
news about the Iraqi civil war on TV, but couldnt see how it related.
Bush didnt get
butt-fucked by Saddam, did he?
Bobby was
embarrassed into silence, which she finally had to break.
I didnt mean to
take it out on you, she said. But he hurt me.
And now nothing
can hurt you.
It was her turn
to be shamed into silence.
Lets sleep on
it, Bobby said. Lets sleep on everything.
So they did,
without so much as a parting kiss. They hadnt touched at all. There was too
much between them, too great a gulf.
Shed read once
that sleep was necessary to restore the mind as well as the body, that dreams
were essential to spiritual well-being. Rainey knew only that, despite her
transformation, she welcomed sleep even though she didnt feel physical
fatigue.
She dreamed she
was back in Shetland, that she and Bobby were making love. When she awakened,
her panties were soaked. She heard moaning from the bedroom, as if Bobby were
having a bad dream. Tiptoeing in – she had to be careful about that,
careful about so many things with her superhuman strength – she saw that
he was clutching his pillow, that his body was writhing -- in agony or ecstasy
or both. His incoherent moans suddenly took form: he was crying her name.
Despite her
silence, it was if he sensed her presence. He came awake then, rolled over and
looked at her -- looked at her as if in a prayer that could never be answered.
"I cant
stand it," he said. "I've got to do something."
What's
the Buzz?
Somebody did a
remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre while you were away. And a prequel. No, wait a
minute, they were calling him the Chainsaw man before that. Well, the original
was notorious enough."
"I never saw
it."
"Me neither,
or the others. But you can't help knowing about them. Like the man said,
'Popular culture is like the air we breathe.'"
"What
man?"
"I don't
remember. Does it matter?"
"Does the
Chainsaw Man matter that much to you? You know he didn't take me."
"But I thought he had. And he might have. And he took those
others. They were all young and beautiful. That's all they had in common. Well,
not all; they were smart -- all honor students or young professionals on the
way up. No drifters, no runaways, no hookers. Nothing like the usual pattern in
these cases. And hes still out there."
"What have
the authorities been saying?"
"The usual.
Appealing for leads. Appealing for women to be more careful. The usual profile
psychobabble: he hated his mother and loved his father, or vice versa, he's
straight, he's gay, he's impotent, he's a real ladies' man. None of it adds up.
Serial killers want to feel powerful, feel important. That's all I know. But
this one must want to feel especially powerful and important.
But why?
I dont know.
But I think he must hate womens minds as much as their bodies. I dont think
the police and the FBI have figured that out yet. Not from what I see in the
news and online, anyway.
Youre still
following this?
Not as much as I
did a couple of years ago, before they gave me the brush-off. But yeah, I still
check in every week or so. Nothing really new lately – but everybodys
waiting for another victim to turn up. Its been four months now. Longer than
usual. Only now I feel guilty about slacking off. I might have missed
something.
He glanced at the
clock.
Onlydamn, I
have to go to work now.
Maybe I could
help you.
Itll turn your
stomach. And I dont think youll really be able to—
A fresh pair of
eyes
Youll cry them
out. Dont say I didnt warn you.
She went ahead
anyway, after Bobby left. He was right. It did turn her stomach – not
just the uncensored crime scene pictures that had made their way to offshore
websites, but the approving remarks in related discussion groups. She couldnt
believe the depravity she saw on the screen, yet there it was. She did cry her
eyes out, not just for herself but for Bobby, who had followed she case since
she had been put on the victims list. How could he endure it?
Yet she kept at
it. In the crimes themselves, there might be a pattern – although none
had emerged beyond the type of victim: nothing related to dates or locations or
mutual acquaintances or phases of the moon. A seemingly irrelevant thought
crossed her mind: which was worse, a man who killed up close and personal like
the Chainsaw Man, or one who killed at a distance, through proxies, like Kim?
She had to take a
break. Looking through Bobbys CD collection, she picked out the Herbert von
Karajan recording of Shostakovichs Symphony No. 10. It had been composed, or
at least completed, just after the death of Stalin, who had gone to his grave
still persecuting artists and intellectuals – men and women who had kept
silent during the great purges, the slaughter of millions, and the imprisonment
of millions more: for to have spoken would have accomplished nothing but their
own destruction.
Shostakovich had
worked his initials into the score, as if to tell the world: This is me, now
I can finally speak for myself. But he was also speaking for all the dead and persecuted, hoping
that he might reclaim his countrys soul as well as his own. In the last movement
came an expression of hope that it could happen, that Russia might emerge from
its nightmare.
Only it hadn't,
then. Even fifty years later, after seeming liberation, Russia was slipping
back into darkness. And even her own country
It put things in perspective:
Kim Jong Il was, after all, only a minor league Stalin. It was the idea behind
them that was truly monstrous. She would have to fight that idea, and all the
other bad ideas that had corrupted the world.
But fighting the
Chainsaw Man might be a good start.
Coming
Out Party
It was a week
later that Rainey made the news. Or rather, that U-Girl did.
It had been
foolish of her. It was a narrow escape.
She had been
awakened in the middle of the night by a loud crash. It sounded like an
accident of some sort, just a block or two away. She called 911 and then,
senselessly, put on a bathrobe and went outside to find out what had happened.
She could see a
glow in the distance that wasnt from streetlights, and headed for it at a fast
pace – faster than any Olympic runner, although she didnt think of that at the time.
A dump truck had
collided with a tanker truck at a main intersection, and spilled fuel had
caught fire. The dump truck driver had apparently gotten out okay, only he was
helpless to rescue the tanker truck driver, as were nearby neighbors who had
responded: the flames were in the way, and the tanker truck itself itself was
bound to explode in a few moments.
Get back!
Rainey shouted. Its going to blow!
They had already
figured that, they were already getting back. But they hadnt figured on Rainey
making a run for the truck, ripping the door off with her bare hands, and
carrying the driver to safety half a block away as easily as if he were a teddy
bear.
Then the tanker
truck did blow, an inferno of gasoline nearly turning night into day. A few
shards of hot metal made it this far; falling near the feet of the bystanders.
In the distance, there were the sounds of approaching sirens: police and
firemen and medics. But the bystanders werent looking that way: they were
staring at Rainey.
Only now did she
realize that one of the hot shards had landed on her. Her robe had caught fire.
She ducked and rolled to smother the flames, but it was too late: in the eerie
light, her unmarked flesh was clearly visible where the fabric had burned away.
What could she
say? Nothing. She stood up, gathered what was left of the robe around her, and
began walking away. Not back towards Bobbys; the opposite direction.
Hey you, one of
the bystanders called after her. You girl!
Another bystander
recorded that on his cell phone, along with Raineys back as she strode away.
She eventually made it home to Bobbys, by a circuitous route, after stealing
some clothes again – from a boutique this time. Shed reimburse them with
cash, by mail.
Shed need a day
job, she realized. Cant just sponge off Bobby.
She wished she
could make love with him. Whatever gods had turned her into a superwoman had
cheated her of that.
The cell phone
clip, fortunately of very poor quality, was on the morning news.
You girl
somehow became U-Girl, and a legend was born.
* * *
This is only the introduction
to a future e-book, and I have just a vague idea of the direction of the story
from here. Something has to be done about the Chainsaw Man, and the
relationship between Rainey and Bobby. But I want to get into other things, too
– the rewards and pitfalls of being a superheroine.
I imagine Rainey taking on
villains ranging from Somali pirates to Asian child sex traffickers, and
arousing both love (from those who see her as a noble crusader against evil)
and hatred (from those who see her as arrogating the law into her own hands, or
as a racist – even if she also takes on white villains.
Any of you have ideas of your
own? Or a better title for the story – I admit the working title is too
facetious. Contact me!
-- Brantley
Thompson Elkins