By Brantley Thompson Elkins
"Continuing our fetish week series, today we've got three ladies who dress up as superheroines. Cosplay they call it. Now you might not think that's as perverted as water sports, but just wait! These supergirls are something else.
"First, there's Super Susan. She's wearing the standard Supergirl outfit, with the red cape and skirt. Then there's Super Sandra; she's opted for the Powergirl outfit. No skirt, and the top really low-cut. Wish you could see what I'm seeing! And lastly, there's Super Sam -- I don't know where she got her outfit; it's just a teeny top and teeny bottom tied with strings. Hey baby, can I undo those strings?"
"You may not."
"Now is that any way to treat Leonard Dern? You know what kind of a show this is. Why the hell do you think you're here?"
"I know why I'm here."
"Well, I'll get back to you later. Let's let Super Susan introduce herself. What are your measurements, Susan?"
"Great. Can we have a peek at your twin peaks?"
"She's pulling up her top, and -- outstanding! But I understand some guys actually like you better in the costume?"
"Yeah, they're crazy about that. They like to imagine me taking them for a flying fuck -- honest. You should see the e-mails I get."
"Well, if our studio were in space instead of just our broadcast satellite, you might just fulfill that fantasy. Of course, I hear it's kind of awkward trying to do it in free-fall. Hard to get enough leverage to, you know, stick it in "
"I wouldn't know. But I don't think the guys care. Hey, this is fantasy. I really get off on giving them a good time. And they really get off on the idea of us flying united, soaring through the air as we fuck."
"Speaking of which, do you ever invite--"
"Now you know I can't tell you about that ."
"She's winking. She's winking . Now, Super Sandra, you're more up front about your role playing."
"38-24-38. And not a drop of silicone."
"Better displayed, too. I'm drooling. But there's another, really kinky reason for the revealing outfit."
"Well, my fans just love to see bullets bouncing off my chest."
"For special effects, silly. But it's a bigger turn on for them if there isn't a uniform in the way. The tricky part is making it look as if the gunfire is knocking my top out of place so they spill out. Like this."
"For the benefit of our radio audience, Super Sandra knows how to jiggle just so, and now her awesome tits have popped out."
"Want to try them?"
"Our producer has supplied me with a pea shooter. It's perfectly safe. Here we go."
"Ooh, those peas are cold! You should have warmed them up first."
"Weve got peas bouncing all over the place. And Sandra's nipples are getting really hard."
"Want to feel them? Want to suck them?"
"Hey, there's no turning down an invitation like that!"
[Sucking sounds, accompanied by female moans]
"But what about me?"
"It's okay Susan. Just peel off again and I'm your breast man."
[More sucking sounds, more moans]
"What about you, Sam? Gonna let the D-man cop a feel?"
"I'm not into that."
"Well, what are you into, baby?"
"Staying in character, Sam? Well, I guess it takes all kinds. I bet you're here to save the world, too."
"No. Things like terrorism or global warming, you'd have to control the behavior of millions of people. I just do what I can."
"Hey Stew, where did you get this one, anyway? You're supposed to screen our guests."
[Weak voice from offstage]
"You put her on the master list. I just picked these three at random."
"You're a real party pooper, Sam. This sucks . Speaking of sucking."
[More sucking sounds, moans]
"Gotta come up for air now; anyway, it's time for a commercial break hey, who the hell are you?"
[Voice from offstage]
"It's Chef Gilberto from the cooking show, Len, but I didn't invite him here."
"My son's in jail because of you!"
[Gasps from Susan and Sandra]
"Huh? What? Hey, hey, what are you doing with that knife?"
[More alarmed gasps. Sounds of commotion.]
"Thought he could treat girls like you treat these airheads."
"Security? Where the hells security? Hellllllp!"
[Dern babbles incoherently. Shuffling sounds. Susan and Sandra scream]
"Dont hide behind those girls! Let me at you, fucker!"
"I can't let you do that."
"Out of the way, lady, this guy's getting what's coming to him."
"I said, I can't let you do that."
"You sticking up for him? Well"
[metallic snapping sound]
"What the? My knife broke. I don't under--"
"I'm the real thing."
[Gasps of surprise all around]
"God! God! What's the world coming to? Fucker lives a charmed life, fucks over everybody, even has a supergirl to get him out of trouble."
"He isn't out of trouble."
"Hey, this is Leonard Dern, and I thought I'd seen everything, but a real-life supergirl just saved my life. Guy plunged a kitchen knife against her chest and it just broke off. Not a mark on her. Hey Sam, I really owe you. No hard feelings, huh?"
"I didn't do it for you, asshole. I was just here checking out the operation. I believe in satellite radio; it could do a lot of good for the world, if it werent for shows like yours. But when my super-hearing picked up Gilberto muttering about killing you, I subbed for one of your guests."
"You could've just told security--"
"And missed seeing how youd act when you thought your life had finally caught up with you? Hey, the ratings will be out of sight. Endless replays, you cowering behind those girls. You'll look like a piece of shit."
"You cant! Nooooooh shit!"
"Whats that smell, Lennie? You just fill your pants?"